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Do you feel like this same dynamic extends to women in society more broadly? I’ve been thinking about some conversations I’ve overheard here in Korea, where men describe their ideal type as “someone who eats well” or “someone who eats with gusto,” yet appearance‑wise they still expect a body that requires intense discipline and restriction to achieve. I’m not sure how fair this assessment is, but it seems that equal performance is expected of non‑artists too, especially women.

What I struggle to understand is where this cycle even begins anymore. People don’t seem to want to escape it; instead, they’re both being forced to perform and actively reinforcing the same pressure onto others. I can’t quite wrap my head around that.

I remember seeing a comment on a video where an average, thin man went on a date with a woman who allegedly rejected him for being “fat.” One of the comments said: “It’s only normal, she starves herself to look her best, so it’s fair to ask the same of him.” As someone with a history of eds, I genuinely can’t understand this logic. I can’t comprehend wanting someone else to suffer in the same way, or seeing that suffering as justified or fair.

That’s why it’s so hard for me to understand why people endure this without wanting to free themselves, or why the impulse isn’t to break the cycle rather than perpetuate it. I know the easy answer is “culture,” but at some point, it looks like collective self‑harm.

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